You ignored data protection for your computers, your storage, your whole information technology infrastructure enchilada. No backups. Sure, you took snapshots on that fancy expensive SAN – but the SAN crashed and your snapshots were lost along with your primary data. You came in this morning and discovered that you lost most of your data.  Just getting your servers back to their last known valid state is going to take a few weeks.  And your odds of recovering the data which your CEO now calls “the lifeblood of your company” is hovering at just around zero.  Zilch.  Nada de nada.

On the bright side, there is some meaning left in your life.  You’re a cautionary tale.  You’ve fulfilled your purpose by serving as a warning to others.  And that’s worth celebrating!  So we’re going to investigate whether beer or whiskey is a better solution for handling data loss.

Beer of course contains less alcohol, so to forget your stupidity you’re going to need to drink more of it. At the same time – what else are you going to do? Plus you’ll be in better shape after drinking a few brewskies not only because of the lower alcohol content but because beer has more vitamins and nutrients. That’s a huge plus! You’re going to have to fend off the entire secretarial pool who just lost their jobs – and that’s a lot of irritated folks who are psychically willing your small intestine to leap up out of your mouth, wrap itself around your neck, and slowly strangle you.

Whiskey on the other hand is much stronger – which has obvious advantages when you’re seeking nothing more than to rewire your synapses in a manner enabling some type of specific amnesia around backup and recovery. And you’re going to have less fluid sloshing around in your gut as you run for your life as that secretarial pool runs after you with torches and pitchforks.

Comments

  1. Quite the short topic, but in the event that all the data disappears, I’ll laugh, and say, TOLD YOU SO.

    When the head cheese comes to ask what happened.

    And the day it happened, I’ll have already been out for work at a company that wants to par-take in protection of it’s data.

  2. I go with the SCOTCH whisky due to the running issue. Try and run with a belly full of beer isn’t fun whatsoever. Scotch makes me laugh more and there is nothing in this world more fun then laughing at someone who is yelling at you!!! or even running from. Think of this when you were a kid. You know you did this, I know I did. SO, my vote is for the whisky!

  3. I’ve been in this situation once before and Whiskey is your best bet.

    It’s also nice to have a solid escape route planned ahead of time! 🙂

  4. Mel: Understand the criticism. Every now and then I’ll rant about something – and these are a lot less information-oriented than the other posts. I’ll make sure to keep producing the information-oriented stuff as well.

  5. Gosh Mel, to me, the moral of this littly cautionary tale is clear as a bell.

    Do backups, and for heaven’s sake, don’t store backups on the device you’re backing up. And yes, people really do that.

  6. Whiskey – the LD50 is much less for whiskey. If it’s that bad, you get a two-fer out of one bottle.

    ‘course if you know it’s comin’ beer is a good way to go until then.

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